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oddities and reactions

suppose something is just a little off.

perhaps your computer occasionally hiccups during a restart, or a particular application freezes all the time on your computer but no one else's. or maybe you wake up with a tiny little headache every few days, even though you've not been drinking and you haven't been under any sort of stress. or maybe your heart is just a little broken but you can't figure out why it can be so irrational or what to do about it.

but suppose your computer has been hiccuping during a restart ever since you installed X11, and you kind of remember fudging something when you didn't know how to do it. or you discover you got some weird parasite in thailand and that's why you've got a headache.

as i see it, there are two ways to deal with these offities:

• you figure fixing the problem is too expensive, and accept it for what it is. reformatting your computer would take too much time, the parasite won't be dead for a few days, so you'll have to deal with your headache, or trying to figure out why you feel the way you do could possibly make it worse. or,
• you act on some kind of instinct that, in the past, has worked for resolving various issues.

i consider it a skill to be able to really accept things for what they are and digest them. it's a skill i've been working on for ages now, and i'm proud to say i generally am able to accept problems i can't fix, deal with them, and look as rationally as i can. but sometimes, it's impossible for me to truly accept things. so i move on to the next option. if my computer is messed up and i can't figure out why, i copy the irreplaceable data and i wipe my computer clean, building it from the ground up. or, i try to eat really well, exercise, stop drinking, and sleep right until that headache goes away, even if i know the antibiotics will do their thing in a few days anyway.

but there are things i find myself doing that have no real reasonable explanation. and i have to say, they sort of work. so hoorah for instincts.

when something feels off in my life, whether i can identify it and need to accept it, or i can't identify it at all but need to feel better about it, i either go out for a really nice dinner, try to create something, or buy a really nice pen. somehow the feeling of holding a nice pen makes me feel better; the enjoyment of a nice long dinner relaxes me and alleviates any tension in my body or mind. and creating something is, in so many ways, the most satisfying feeling i have ever had.

anyway, just something interesting i realized about myself and thought i'd share. anything you guys [sorry... ya'll] find yourselves doing in off situations?

[note: the above are merely examples to get to my point in a long-winded fashion. they are fictional and not to be taken literally.]

November 6, 2007 @ 9:44am . 90 views . 2 comments