...it's like i can't control it
ever seen the movie the girl next door? if you haven't you should. if you have, then you'll probably remember kelly, the manager, who was a prick in the beginning of the movie and became a super jerk face. "F***, I'm good! How do I get these ideas? It's like a gift, you know? It's like I can't control it." who says that?! prick.
keeping that in mind, i will now share a few thoughts about myself, requesting that you bear with me until the end, as reading the first half will likely make you have the same feelings about me, but reading the whole thing will assure you that i'm still ol' self-deprecating me.
i tend to be a man of opposites, of extremes. i value balance, but know well that my nature is far from balance. usually, i have no ideas. the things i think about tend to be based on observations, stories i like, or things that i found to be interesting and chose to repeat. but sometimes. oh sometimes. sometimes i get all these ideas. all these really brilliant thoughts. i get some grand idea for my website, some funny thing to blog about, some magnificent conclusion that i can't wait to enlighten you with. (how do i get these ideas? it's like a gift, you know? it's like i can't control it.)
[enter self-deprecation]
but when those ideas come, there are too many for me to deal with. i see beautiful relationships and connections only because my random access memory is small-- large enough to see two or three elements and their connections at a time, but small enough that i fail to realize that, in the bigger picture, the relationships make absolutely no sense. the grand ideas i get excited to blog about are only grand until i try to write it down and realize there's not really anything there.
which is why my blogs are usually totally scattered. i can never really tell what the point is, because the idea is just too great to not write down. and then i end up with scattered nonsense like this. or i end up wanting badly to refer to something else, post about it and forget what the hell i was going for in my original post. but wait a minute... maybe this post does have a purpose! yes, yes that's it. i wrote a scattered post just to prove my point. perhaps, however, not quite at the twenty-fathom level...
comments:
er...i think that's ok. i often write blogs that only a few of my close friends can understand. these blogs have no clear beginning also no clear ending just like soliloquy. that's why my blogs often get zero reply:) but when i write down some words, it makes me feel easy about life. it's enough for me. actually, you write good blogs, take it easy:)
daisy | January 6 @ 3:51am